Convo between my 7year-old students today

Josie: I have a new crusshhhhh
Matt: Me too! On a boy!
Pearl: You're a boy with a crush on a boy?
Matt: Yeah he's really cute.
Pearl: Oh.
(pause for a bit)
Matt: Boys can like boys. I just can't marry him because boys can't marry boys.
Me: Yeah they can. You can marry whoever you want.
Matt: Really?
Josie: YEAH my tia has a wife so now I have a titi and a auntie.
Matt: Okay. Then maybe I'll marry him.
Dave: (from across the room) No you can't you're seven.
(Age was apparently the only foreseeable problem anyone of my elementary schoolers could see with gay marriage.)
(LAUGHING BECAUSE TITI IN MY LANGUAGE MEANS PENIS)

Shared 2 months ago, with 188,637 notes » via rolling-in-the-tears - © source

SO I WAS IN PSYCHOLOGY AND WE WERE TALKING ABOUT HOW 55% OF AUSTRALIANS ARE OVERWEIGHT AND SOMEONE IN THE CLASS YELLED ‘CRIKEY’ AND MY TEACHER IS SO DONE AND IS JUST STARING AT HIS DESK

UPDATE: THE PEOPLE IN FRONT OF ME HAD TO LEAVE CAUSE THEY WERE LAUGHING SO HARD AND JUST

Source: kirstinfayce

Shared 3 months ago, with 100,695 notes » via approachingnormal - © source

# i just spit my drink on the computer screen # omfg

Source: gifs-by-leslie

Shared 3 months ago, with 18,213 notes » via puppyeyedandrewscott - © source

# sexy bitch # omfg

When a pen dies

Me: There were times I didn't even think you were a pen.
Me: But let me tell you this, you were the best writing utensil
Me: The most pen... pen that I've ever known.
Me: And no one will ever convince me that you ran out of ink, so there.
Me: I was so alone, writing an essay, and I owe you so much.
Me: But please there's just one more thing, one more thing
Me: One more miracle, Pen, for me
Me: Don't be... dead.
Pen:

Source: queen-moriarty

Shared 4 months ago, with 29,254 notes » via herondalegirl25 - © source

# omfg # i wonder if everybody knows this is from sherlock

novakstiels:

you know how people always go to bars to watch football games wouldn’t it be nifty is there were bars where we could watch spn and they served really gr8 burgers and pie and the place was decorated to look really sketchy

Source: novakstiels

Shared 4 months ago, with 38,597 notes » via buttman-rises - © source

# please # somebody actually do this # omfg

alizdurshoe:

bootycaller:

today in philosophy i learned that witches were portrayed as riding broomsticks because back in the day it was a euphemism for riding the devil’s dick so just think about that before you consider dressing up as a witch for halloween

well quidditch just got awkward

And also, do you know why witches laugh maniacally while riding their broomsticks? It’s because they don’t wear panties and so it makes riding the broomsticks very ticklish for them.

Source: idiotshitbaby

Shared 4 months ago, with 157,966 notes » via herondalegirl25 - © source

# i meant RIDING # not reading # omfg

Source: daily-disney

Shared 4 months ago, with 144,066 notes » via buttman-rises - © source

# i've seen a photoset of this before already but it never gets old # omfg